Proverbs - When Someone is Offended

Proverbs 18:19

A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle.

A strong city is a walled city.  It is surrounded by walls able to resist penetration.  These walls have towers in which watchman are always on alert for impending conflict.  When someone is offended and has not forgiven they are like this city.  They begin to build walls and keep a fortified distance between their heart and passers by.  They have a portion of their personality always looking out and expecting any relationship on the horizon to be hostile and their defenses are up. Their justifications for their personality change are many and well built like bars on a castle.  This person is hard to connect with and oftentimes easily defensive.

We should be warned by this text in two ways.  We must know that there are people like this in our lives and we mustn’t give up on them.  Even if we find ourselves not connecting with them, we should pass the walls of their city often praying for an opening and then taking the opportunity to go in when we find it.  We must realize that some of their anger may in fact be rooted in a past offense and be willing to see them through their social awkwardness and be committed to them in love.  We must pray that they will forgive and show them that kind of love.

We should also be warned to not be like this offended brother.  Has a past offense created walls in which you hide and feel safe and yet are losing out on the opportunities for new relationships and memories?  The enemy wants us to be isolated.  He knows this makes us vulnerable, stubborn and not fit for the Master’s use. 

Lord, show us if we have built these walls and help us to forgive from the heart.  Help us to remember that as You, God, were in Christ Jesus forgiving us, we, from the heart, must forgive one another.